Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
