You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
