I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
