then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
