Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The Olympian is in my bed
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