sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
