i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How naked do you want me to be?
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