You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
