How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
