just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
