this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
