I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
