margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
