Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
