dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
so explain again why im purple
no
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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