i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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