Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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