dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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