Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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