Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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