problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
