This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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