you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
