i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
