my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize