So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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