"it" just moved
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize