I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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