Do you still have your period?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
