There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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