SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
