I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
