Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?