we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?