ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out