I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she peed on how many people?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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