me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
