He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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