we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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