It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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