im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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