tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
