Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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