she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
