afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
