Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
