Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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