guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
