I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
