if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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