Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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