Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
