just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
