I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
