Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
