Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
