ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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