Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
