if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
