the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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