Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
