i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
