Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
