I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
