I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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